Starting Something

Beginnings can be challenging, but they don't have to be exhausting.

September has often seen me starting something new, as I am again right now: it was the start of school years when I was younger (as for many in the Northern Hemisphere), of study years (too many – every time saying, “I’m not doing this again,” but doing it again and going for another qualification) and of different jobs in schools, universities, and in the private sector.

I’ve usually looked forward to these new beginnings and generally welcome change. Still, embracing something new is not always easy.

Reflecting on these experiences, I’ve also worked with many coaching clients facing new start situations, including the following:

• First 100-day programmes: positioning in the new role and/or company and dealing with challenges.

• A big geographical move.

• The start of a new relationship.

• Taking that next step in a relationship.

• Becoming a parent and the various challenging phases that follow.

• Kids moving out.

• Kids moving in (patchwork family).

Whilst it’s not a requirement for a coach to have been through the situation at hand, I’ve been in most of those that arose. I’ve had many job changes, have moved many times (also country), and I struggled when moving in with one boyfriend, after being single for some time, asking myself, “Why is this person hanging items of clothing over every available piece of furniture, some of it very not available?”.

My learnings and those of my clients have resulted in me creating the following six Ps, which can be used as a guideline to tackle this tricky time:

• Patience. This wasn’t always a strength of mine; my husband used to say I wanted everything done yesterday, while he was quite happy to put it off until tomorrow. Equally, coaching clients have often tried to rush through processes and leap ahead to the end goal before realising the learning process is necessary and gradual.

• Pacing. Clearing or slowing everything else down for a short period. Starting anything new is exhausting (new names to learn, processes, crazy acronyms, people’s preferences, and that’s without learning the job itself if it’s a career move). While it’s tempting to try to keep everything else going at the same time, sometimes something has to give or not be as great as it was during the settling-in period.

• Peace. Sleep and rest are essential due to the aforementioned exhaustion.

• Prevention. It’s tempting to eat fast food and wind down with alcohol when we’re feeling overwhelmed, but when tackling something new, we need to keep our energy levels up and consistent. Healthy habits, including exercise, provide energy and balance.

• Pals. The temptation is to knuckle down and not see anyone. However, getting together with friends (not on boozy nights, as already mentioned – well, maybe now and then at the weekend 😉) to sound off with can really help if you’re not working with a coach. Make sure it’s the right friends, though: those who build you up or can make you laugh. You’ll realise how you feel after leaving them. During one particularly tough beginning, I met with a friend who gave my somewhat unhinged boss a nickname after I relayed her latest antics. My friend made me laugh, and it helped me get through the next months. This category also extends to making friends in the new situation (colleagues, relatives of new partners, other parents) and allowing those who have more knowledge of the situation to support you.

• Practice, as in makes almost perfect (I don’t promote aiming for perfection in any situation). Remember that you need to establish a routine, and the more you do and the longer you do it, the better you will get.

Beginnings are tough, and not all develop into something permanent. I only persisted with some of the jobs, courses and relationships I started in previous Septembers. I ended many when I realised that they weren’t for me, which was also the decision of a few of my clients. There’s a difference between giving something a chance and enduring.

However, other beginnings have changed my life. I stayed in Austria, pursued a career using all my qualifications, and I married the man who hung his stuff everywhere (he still does). Those Ps paced me. They reminded me to be patient and prevented my downfall by incorporating peace and balance, and they showed me there were pals around to lean on. I’m referring to them again at the start of this new endeavour. Practice them the next time you’re starting something. Good luck 😊.