Sun, Sea and...

Space, compromise and patience – the essentials for your summer holiday.

It’s that time of year again! We’re planning our summer getaways. Whether you’re going with friends, your partner or your family, there’s searching to do, criteria to be fulfilled and expectations galore (often differing).

We just booked our family summer holiday. Phew – it wasn’t easy. This isn’t the only time of year that we go away, but this is the big one, the long one, and the pressure is always on to get it just right. However, what’s “just right” for me isn’t “just right” for my husband, and the kids have got another whole “just right”. We each fight our corners: my son wants slides, big ones and lots of them; my daughter wants a mini disco and evening entertainment; my husband wants to be fed and watered at regular intervals and then a gym to work off all the feeding and watering, and I want peace and quiet, not many people and spectacular scenery.

Whilst my husband’s wishes combine easily with those of the kids and are accommodated at most all-in resorts, I’m a problem. I used to like all-in club holidays when the kids were small, and I was exhausted and didn’t have the energy to be the round-the-clock entertainment for them. Now, they make me a little claustrophobic. I want to explore and not have set times for my meals and have to fight with masses of people who seem to be on a survival mission at the buffet three times a day.

Last year, my family were gracious and indulged my wishes: a beautiful apartment on the beach in a quaint Greek fishing village with a sea view. However, there was a heat wave, and, for fear of being boiled alive, we had to choose the times we left the apartment carefully; there wasn’t much exploring we could do. Had we been on a club holiday, we could have escaped the sun and participated in indoor activities. Oh, the guilt.

So, we’re doing the club thing again this year. The resort looks great. I know my husband and the kids won’t want to leave it once we’ve checked in. I’ve chosen to see them doing their thing and me doing mine as a positive rather than a negative, comparing it to another type of break I used to enjoy: my former business trips.

Now, these trips weren’t jollies. They were hard work and intense, but, at the end or during breaks, I’d take some time to see the sights. I sometimes did this alone and sometimes with a colleague or two. This type of travel suited me. The main benefit of travelling with colleagues, as opposed to family or friends, was that I didn’t feel compelled to or want to spend every waking moment with them. We often unanimously decided not to even sit together on the plane. We’d spread ourselves around business class (booked so that we’d be rested and ready to work when we departed at the other end), only to then cause mayhem when one of us discovered what the seats on this particular airline could do (zshoom, zshoom, zshoom, up, down, backwards, forwards, flat, then up again), what films were playing and whatever else was on offer to play with. We’d share our findings loudly with the rest of the team by calling across random heads. This resulted in zshoom, zshoom, zshoom, up, down, backwards, forwards, flat, then up again multiplied by the number of colleagues travelling, usually five or more. We’d be heard throughout our section. We didn’t emerge rested at the end of the flight, neither did our fellow passengers, who were glad to see the back of us, but we all still liked each other because we’d kept that bit of distance.

Most of us wouldn’t want our spouse and kids (partner or friends) to sit separate from us on the journey – it’s not allowed anyway if you’re travelling with small kids. Can you imagine asking a fellow passenger, “Could you just hold my baby for the duration of the flight, please? I’m going to sit elsewhere.” 😉 So, you do the together thing. If you’re a family, you’re often seated with everyone else with young children in the noisy family section! Not everyone’s idea of relaxation, but you’re excited and anticipating the coming week(s).

However, a lengthy holiday, whether with family, friends or your partner, isn’t without its strains. It can be intense; you’re all in, often for 14 days and nights or more, with no routine to break it up. So, what can be done to make it a success for everyone?

• Compromise: this isn’t about giving in to the wishes of others but about finding ways to ensure everyone has a little of what they want. My suggestion for our summer holiday this year, if it must be all-inclusive, was that it should be in surroundings that I can explore. These places are often gorgeous on the inside but plonked in the middle of nowhere.

• Space: my husband works very hard all year and won’t want to join me on a run or a walk outside of the resort, and neither will the kids, so I won’t force them, and I’ll get some me-time and see something new.

• Patience: if what you want isn’t compatible, it might make sense to let others have their wishes THIS TIME, and you take your turn NEXT TIME, either on another holiday with them or a mini break with friends or alone if that’s your thing. Then everyone’s a winner, just not all at the same time.

So, my family and I will sit together on our journey because we’re driving there. We’ll have to practise compromise on the music. I’ll try to be patient when I hear that classic question, “Are we there yet?” on repeat for seven hours by suggesting regular breaks where we can all stretch our legs and gain some space. If all else fails and we annoy each other already on the way there, I’m going to play with my car seat (zshoom, zshoom, zshoom, up, down, backwards, forwards, flat, then up again) until my husband kicks me out of the car. Then I’ll explore the local scenery that way 😉. He wouldn’t do that, of course – would he? 🤔

I plan to:

• compromise by trying every slide at the pool, by gaining a few kilos from all the feeding and watering (the water served is cocktails 😋), and by becoming a mean survival-mission-buffet master (elbows at the ready),

• practice patience learning the holiday club song and choreography – showing my kids up on the last night with my moves 😅,

• give my family some space and me, in turn, some me-time to see a bit of the local area.

Your criteria might differ from mine, and maybe you and your friends, family or partner have the same interests – good for you – but, if you haven’t, these three points might help. I’m really going to miss those plane seats, though 😉.