Applause and Pause

Why rest and reward matter more than you think.

I’ve had a lot on lately. I started something new and even shared my tips on not tackling too many things at the same time. I didn’t take my own advice 😳. A last-minute development left me juggling two biggies at once. I agreed to both because it was only for a short, specific period. I worked for three weeks straight: days, evenings and weekends. The stress is over now – I’m about to run outside and hug a tree just to make sure I’ve touched wood (I’m not superstitious, honest 😏)!

The professional stress collided with the kids starting back at school, and various parent evenings, plus my daughter’s birthday, which included baking 54 muffins for school and club friends (I may have eaten a couple to keep my energy up and even out the number 😋). I managed everything with a lot of support from my husband and a little from the kids (between bouts of moaning, of course), and we did succumb to the odd takeaway (I know – I said to eat healthy 🫣). It was only towards the end that my energy levels fell like sand through an hourglass: I was on my last few grains. I made it through, and I didn’t get sick, but I’m aware of how easy it is to fall back into old habits.

In the past, I took my body and mind for granted, pushing myself to the limit for prolonged periods, then setting up the next challenge as the first one came to an end, almost without taking a breath in between.

I’m not alone in this. A little while ago, a writer I admire posted that she’d written the first draft of her next novel in just two months: a huge achievement. She went on to say that she’d work on something else before going back to do the next draft. No break, no reward. I responded to remind her to celebrate first, and she admitted this is the part she forgets.

Since learning that this isn’t a healthy approach myself, I’ve worked with many clients on the importance of slowing down and rewarding themselves in proportion to the effort they’ve invested. Many people only recognise this necessity much later in life. Those who have struggled with balance throughout their lives and careers often burn out at some point or even repeatedly and/or fall into a state of bore-out and pointlessness when they are forced to hang up their work jacket. However, those who have managed to establish a healthy work-life balance know how to reward themselves in retirement for all the years they’ve worked. They can deal with retirement better and enjoy it rather than falling ill because their body supplies them with the energy to do so, recognising a pattern with which they are familiar and can incorporate.

Creating these healthy patterns in our minds and bodies is essential. There are lots of explanations around this; many involve science and dopamine reward cycles, which baffle me. The most fitting I’ve ever heard came from a paediatrician who treated my daughter once when ill. He explained that our bodies save patterns, which, if not broken (in my daughter’s case, with medicine and care), produce the symptoms all over again, and we slump back into the previous state at the first inkling of what might be to come.

This made sense to me. Telling our bodies that we constantly need to strive forces us into a state of physical and mental exhaustion almost from the outset of any major endeavour. If we never let up or reward ourselves, where is the incentive to work hard and pull ourselves through what lies ahead?

In such situations, it helps to ask ourselves the following:

• Have I celebrated my last achievement or just moved on?

• Am I planning my next challenge before my body is ready?

• How can I reward myself and enjoy the outcome?

• Would I expect this pace from someone I care about?

I do this now. While some people might reward themselves with a weekend of partying followed by lie-ins, I applauded myself for getting through it all last weekend in a way that worked for me. I posted on social media to share what I’d been working on alongside the new day job, just a few posts, as anything more would have felt like another task. Then I paused. I took a long bath, cooked a proper meal, and sat down with my family. I skipped my usual online course and even cancelled a great networking event. My body clearly needed a break. I returned the factual books I’d been cramming with to the library and picked up my novel again: a book with an unwritten footnote to relax and enjoy.

I’m staying in this state for a little while. I’m working, but I’m not adding anything extra, and I’m not planning the next challenge. When I start the next big thing, my body will support me because I’ve treated it fairly. I’ve rewarded, and I’m resting.

Be fair with yourself, and your body and mind will work hard for you when it matters most.